Soon to be me?

YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA WHEN:Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income(and you think itsnormal)

You drive next to a Rolls Royce and don't notice.--I wouldnt notice now.

You don't know any one's phone number unless you check your cell phone.---Check, besides work, my parents, and Paul (and that's only because it use to be mine, I'm sure)

You speak Spanish, but you're not Mexican or Latino.--not all the way yet0

You begin to "lie" to your friends about how close you are when you know damn well that it'll take you at least an hour to getto their house(see below)---I don't have friends...wah wahhh

Getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what the distance,takes about "twenty minutes".---Same for Chicago, only it's "15"

You drive to your neighborhood block party.--block parties suck

In the "winter", you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the same day or mow your lawn in your shorts on New Years Day, and maybe sunburn.---I don't mow lawns ever...but I'm down for the sunburn on new years

You eat a different ethnic food for every meal--Ick

If your destination is more than 5 minutes away onfoot, you're definitely driving--maybe if you fuckers walked some times you wouldnt have to pack the gym at 3...asswipes

Calling your neighbors requires knowing their areacode---but I dont have to think about it, it's in my cell

You know what "In-'N-Out" is and feel bad for all theother states because they don't have any. Yes yes Jolly...I will send you some. Send me your addy.

Stop signs stand for, Slow To Observe Police.---You mean a Chicago Rolling Stop...pretty sure we invented that.

You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.--nope

You eat pineapple on pizza.---double nope

Your cell phone has left a permanent impression onthe side of your head.--not yet

You think that Venice is a beach.---it is...it's also a city with boat cars

The waitress asks if you'd like "carbs" in your meal.---I wont if I'm one.

You know who the tinsel underwear dude in VeniceBeach is.---Hey I know that guy. Theres a gold you on Michigan Ave ripping off your routine.

You classify new people you meet by their Area Code.An "818" would never date a "562" and anyone from"323," "310," or "213" is ghetto/second class. Bestarea code: "949/714."Nobody likes anyone from the "909/951" because itstinks there and you consider the "619" to be thenice side of Tijuana, Mexico.---that should be fun...the SoCal version of "I live in lincoln park...oh yeah well I live in Pilsen" bla

You call 911 and they put you on hold.

You have a gym membership because it's mandatory---eat a dick. Wait. I probably will get one.

The gym is packed at 3 pm ...on a workday---Cant wait for my first boob job.

You think you are better than the people who live"Over the Hill". It doesn't matter which side of thehill you are currently residing, you are just betterthan them, for whatever reason.----I want this explained to me

You know that if you drive two miles in any directionyou will find a Subway or a Starbucks---two whole miles. There are three starbucks within a block or two from Uno's.

You know what "Sigalert", "PCH", and the "Five" mean.---Nope, don't know what these mean.

You know the meaning behind the name of the 405freeway.... because ittakes 4 hours to get one way, and 5 hours to getback.---let me guess this is the one that I will end up taking?

It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report onevery news station: "STORM WATCH".---unless theres 6 inches of snow on the ground, I'm good.

The Terminator is your governor.---sweet!


Lots of typos I'm not fixin!